A diary of Jon's life

I think a lot of people I know struggle to make new friends after leaving school. They may befriend other friends’ friends along the way but keeping to those they know, or knew growing up.

Me, I was always taught to be inclusive. My mother was a child minder - there were always kids I didn’t know who we’d be looking after. It takes as much effort to share as to try and exclude. As much to smile as to frown. Moving on to college, each time I made friends with new people, I’d introduce them to the old group. I had done the same in school - it meant that some of my friends who were less extraverted would have people to nod to, eat with, hang out with between lessons or whatever else if I wasn’t there. Not that the world revolved around me, but nobody wants to be lonely. Isn’t that what Christina Aguilera and Ricky Martin said? 

I was out with friends I met through Twitter, through a mutual love of Star Wars. A few years back, one of them tweeted that they were in London for the evening after a work thing, and they wanted something to do, as they’d be alone for a few hours. I figured that there was nothing to lose and asked if they wanted to get some food or go to a pub for a bit, and three years later we’re out on birthday drinks once more.

Don’t fear talking to strangers on the internet. Be cautious, sure, but don’t think that someone you don’t know online is forever going to stay that way. Some might end up being a real good friend, or a useful contact somewhere. Or they might just really need your help with something some day. 

Likewise, make friends in bars. I love making friends at Rockwood Music Hall. That’s where I met some great people over the years. And I made some great friends at The World’s End in Finsbury Park (i’ll be there again tonight). Make friends in libraries or when you see someone wearing something that you like, compliment them. You might be seen as the stranger talking to strangers, or you might spark up a conversation. If it’s someone who could be a friend some day, they’re likely to respond similarly to you anyway, and if not, it wasn’t meant to be. Take risks. You can never have too many friends and it is never bad to be friendly, helpful, honest, happy or polite.