Pipes - Video Behind the Scenes (Tom Milsom)
Pipes - Video Behind the Scenes (Tom Milsom)
The Fallen (feat. KickThePJ & Tomska) - Behind The Scenes
And far too often I try to just hold onto the positive ones - the laughter, the feel of being wanted, love, silliness. And that’s not a bad thing. Just sometimes, I try to shut up the bad feelings rather than deal with them. OR I regard having the bad feelings as some kind of personal failure. But they aren’t. A cry can be good - it can release tension and stress, or clear your mind to see what you’re really upset about. Sometimes it can just clear your mind. Right now, it’s almost a year since my dog Teal’c died. I wrote about that back on my other tumblr - jondbarker.tumblr.com - it hit me hard then, and it almost became something I resented. Other people were sad about it, and I didn’t want a constant reminder of their sadness. Or of the fact that I’d started to move on.
I’d tell myself he’s just a dog because he was, if you simplify things. But you know, no dog is ever ‘just a dog’ to their owners, especially not one with his personality. It took me months to properly write in that side blog because coming back to that entry in my ‘recent posts’ would just set me off on another tear fest.
I spent the evening trying to watch P.S. I Love You while eating. I tried that yesterday, too, but then stopped to do some editing, so tonight just carried on. A few lines stuck with me - one previously blogged - and one at the end with Holly.
“Holly Kennedy: [hugs Daniel] It’s been a year. I don’t feel him anymore. I feel he’s gone. He’s really gone!”
And it has nearly been a year. The house isn’t much different. I lost a whole lot of momentum last October and I don’t want to lose that again. This year I have less money, so less ability to be as spontaneous and to go and work with and for people without wanting anything in return. I still want to give my all. I’ve been deflated and holding back emotionally, I think, and I hope the cry tonight has helped release some of that.
I have work to do, but I wanted to just stop and say that it’s OK to be sad. For my sake, I need to remind myself that you have to feel the lows to reach the highs. I have some incredible friends, ideas, and moments. I’ll be myself again at some point, even if I haven’t since getting back from New York. But I’ll be on top once more.
There are a bunch of musicians I am doing for the first series/season of MidTea Sessions. They’re all for personal reasons and all significant to me even if my relationship with those filmed isn’t necessarily obvious or one that is strong, the relationship towards something they’ve done and its effect on my life is quite poignant.
For the most part, it’ll be people who over the last twelve months have been a staple in my mental survival and enjoyment of London, but when I am blessed to be able to have some of my New York family over, I will include them.
So far, there are four that are up. Shirryn, Antonio Lulic, Pearl & The Beard, and Jharda.
1) Shirryn’s music came to me through a show at Antonio’s house last November. I’d been to one already but I was getting a little caught up in some photo opportunities I’d been having those months leading up to it. I’d shot Skylar Grey, Mikill Pane, done the Ed tour with Ryan, Kal and Antonio, and met a whole bunch of people who were pretty well seated and I think I was getting a bit ahead of myself. I was doing things for freebies and for website hits and only spending time with people who were considerably well known.
And then there was this person with no online presence who I knew nothing about singing these beautiful songs that made me laugh and want to cry constantly, and immediately I was reminded what and why I want to do filming and taking photos of musicians. I do the MidTea Sessions because I want to share the music I enjoy. I want others to be able to hear the things that stir feelings. And I want to shed some light and some way of identifying and finding out more about the people who interest me. And I don’t want to do the videos for my own ego. I’m not using them to boast stats though I am proud when a video does particularly well, I am more so because hopefully it’s by people who weren’t a fan and may become one. Shirryn has two videos online - both are mine. One live, one a session.
2) Antonio Lulic is someone I met through the realm of Twitter. He is one of Kal Lavelle’s best friends and he bantered well when I first was tweeting with Kal. He is funny and aware of that. He is an excellent and underrated song writer who is working incredibly hard and he has been very inclusive when able to, with me. Last August he let me come and film him in the studios for his EP. I filmed a fair bit of it but never put the footage out because I didn’t understand the programs I used. But he was patient and didn’t look at that as me flaking on him.
He plays a hell of a lot of shows - several times over the last year he’s had three in a day, including one in Wakefield, one in Paddington and one in Finsbury Park, and he was a good laugh to have on the Ed Sheeran tour in October. This last May he helped with organising a fundraiser (or a collection by friends for a friend’s birthday, whatever, Marion :P) so that Kal could preserve and replace her current guitar - a piece signed by a late talented musician and amidst his songs of sex, booze and heartache is a real solid character that I’ve probably not spent enough time around really.
He runs his Acoustic Domestics series where I’ve met a lot of musicians, reinforced who I am in a more controlled environment (because a lot of the time after a gig fans will want to talk to these people I call friends and I’d rather let the fans get those chances), and had little jam sessions after some of them. Things like that are nice.
I’ve taken photos and filmed him a lot at the W.E. Love Sundays shows and he was very gracious to agree to let me film the first two sessions at his place. He didn’t complain about the time we were taking or how long the videos took to edit, that I brought four people into his home or that I filmed him second, and he didn’t seem to mind that this was the first time I’d ever actually had to direct people in video. It was daunting and he was relaxing and reassuring, as was Paul. If Paul wrote songs he’d have a video of his own on here.
"I can still feel my balls, but that’s only because I’ve got one hand on them, under the table, congratulating myself on how good I look." real quotes
He’s also the first of the new London group to use my photos for websites outside of Facebook.
Dial D for Denial (Fiona Bevan cover)
Drunk & Lonely (MidTea Session)
3) Pearl & The Beard… I’ve written so much about them so many times. Here’s one of the most recent updates: CLICK THIS
They’ll be playing in London on the 25th at the Monto Water Rats and I cannot wait to see their faces again. When I asked them to do a session I was a bit worried that they’d say no. Or they’d be polite but then we’d do something wrong. They have some very beautiful videos up on the web and they are incredibly talented musicians. They’ve always been kind to me, and they will always have my loyalty and love.
At their most recent show they performed a cover because I’d requested it. They know that I love their material and I always worry that I might insult a musician by requesting a cover but they do it such justice as I cannot explain. When they did Lovin’s For Fools again I was very much emotional. Thankfully Paul had the filming on point and I had a minor bit here and there.
Once Upon a Dream (Sleeping Beauty) (MidTea back stage thing)
Pearl & The Beard - Swimming (MidTea Session)
4) Jharda always seems so happy, so positive. Even when things aren’t. And she gets bored when things become comfortable. She’s got a day job, a volunteer job and the music job and has the balance right. She gives great hugs and she has wonderful timing. She’s humble and has a great voice and way with the harp. I don’t know how I met Jharda, but one of my earliest memories of Jharda was playing at the Christmas Session at Antonio’s.
She’d played a bunch of Christmas songs and still seemed to not really believe how good she actually was, regardless of what people said. She’s been at a lot of things I’ve been at lately, is always a pleasure to see and
Come The Night (MidTea Session)
an old post from a year ago that I never posted til now
Linkin Park taught me to YOLO, a vlog where I talk about how long ago it is since Meteora and Hybrid Theory came out and then say other things too
I’ve been using my side channel lots more, recently. It’s great.
Tom’s latest offering, and I’m in it so whoop
I got involved in Tom’s latest video, called The Fallen. It was really good.
New video! I directed this music video for Tom Milsom’s track ‘Pipes’, from the upcoming album Organs. It was produced in just one week, from concept to finished product, and I’m very proud of it.
If you enjoy it, please reblog it!
Wow, 21K views already is great but lets try and reach some more people!
Tom Milsom - Pipes
Directed by Bing aka Slomozovo, and I was a production assistant. Really happy with how this came out and you can see me in it, too.
On wednesday we shot the footage, Bing directing, on Friday it was released.
Life is very different.
I ventured to the places you used to be, retracing the footsteps sole by sole, bathed in sunlight, coated in smiles. With each memory recommited to the page, sketched afresh, intention both pure and honest, I moved.
A truck’s horn, a glass’s ice, a book’s page and the pale skin’s warm glow as it burns, you were in it all. With every bite, every wide smile, and each cold step between what is and will be, I am. And you never let me down.
Always looking, learning, sharing, engulfing my priorities. And I would change nothing about that.
I find love here far more often. Perhaps it is the people. Perhaps I am more carefree. Perhaps. I’ve read of the Great Perhaps. Sometimes, questioning isn’t the way to get answers.
I have less time for what ifs as I age. Act. Regret acting. Do not regret what you did not do.
Today, yesterday, forever I have tried. I hope I never stop trying. Let it be? How could I let it be? Is that wisdom, really?
In an uncomfortable twist, I found meaning in nonsense, a song making sense where it should be void. A strange clarity.
I’ve also become more aware of what I had meant this trip to be and what it became. Spending so long among the living is addictive. I don’t crave an empty work space. I may retire from alcohol, though. Not from addiction, but from association. But I’ll make some more mistakes before then.
I’ve always thrust myself terribly towards ends. I am not at all good with conclusions. I have torn pieces of my personality and thrown them into the furnace to try and separate myself from potential, inevitable pain. I can’t continue that way though. I haven’t challenged an ending in so long, merely tried to convince the world that I chose it.
you can use the ones i have up here, sure